


Father and Sons

by Linda18



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-05-13
Updated: 2000-05-13
Packaged: 2018-11-11 03:32:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11140227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linda18/pseuds/Linda18
Summary: Ray Kowalski has to face up to his relationship with his father.  A sequel to Winston's "Brothers".





	Father and Sons

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Due South and all of its characters belong to Alliance Communications.

Never could resist a challenge. My attempt at a sequel to Mary Ann's excellent BROTHERS.

Views to:

Web page: http://www/1freespace.com/linda1/

FATHER AND SONS

by Linda Hughes

Glancing over his shoulder at his father and younger brother, James Kowalski joined Fraser who was sitting on the couch sipping at a cup of tea. Diefenbacker was curled up under the table, snoring gently.

Fraser indicated the second mug on the coffee table. "I made you a cup of coffee James," he said taking another sip of his bark tea.

"Thanks Ben," James leaned forward to pick up the cup. "Do you think they will be alright in there? You know.... you know if Ray wakes up," James nodded towards the bedroom. Fraser noticed a slight concerned tone in the older man's voice.

Fraser considered for a moment. "I am not sure that I am qualified to answer. You know your father. I am afraid I don't."

"Sometimes I don't either Ben," James admitted looking towards the bedroom nervously. "I think I'll get him to come and have some coffee." 

Before he could get up from the couch, Damien Kowalski appeared at the bedroom door. He scowled at Fraser. "He's awake, and he wants you," he indicated towards the bedroom. "His old man aint good enough for him."

"That's enough Dad," James warned. "You said you would try. Now come and have some coffee while Ben here attends to Ray."

Avoiding Damien's hostile glare, Fraser made his way quickly to the bedroom, Dief at his heels. Ray was struggling to sit up, a look of pain etched on his pale face.

"Ray. Lie back down," Fraser commanded moving towards the bed. 

"No," Ray croaked. He winced in pain at the effort, and put his hand up to his throat. "Help me," he mouthed his usual look of impatience showing on his face.

Fraser sighed in exasperation helping his partner to sit up, pumping the pillows behind his back in an effort to make him comfortable. Diefenbacker had jumped onto the bed, snuggling at Ray's side. Ray unconsciously put his good arm around the wolf, and was stroking his furry head. Dief whined in delight. "Here take a sip of water," Fraser offered him the glass of water from the bedside table.

"Thanks," Ray mouthed taking the glass.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Fraser asked sitting on the edge of the bed, an anxious look on his face.

"Make him go away," Ray said hoarsely.

Fraser wanted nothing better than to turn Damien Kowalski out of the apartment for all the hurt and pain he had caused the slim detective. "Ray," he hesitated.

"Make him go way. Don't want him here," Ray rasped. "Please just tell him to go way." Fraser noted that his partner was becoming agitated; his clear blue eyes shooting apprehensive glances towards the living room. 

Placing a hand on his partner's shoulder. "Please calm down Ray. I'll talk to your father. Do you want James?"

Ray shook his head. "Just Dief," he whispered stroking the wolf. He lay his head back against the pillows, closing his eyes. Fraser patted his shoulder reassuringly. He mouthed to Diefenbacker to stay put; the wolf softly whined in agreement snuggling closer to the slender man.

Taking a deep breath, Fraser stood up and went back into the living room; both James and Damien leapt up from the couch.

"Well. Can I see him now?" Damien demanded.

Fraser looked at his boots, clearing his throat. "Ray is very tired. He doesn't want to see anyone at the moment. Perhaps, it would be better if you went back home."

Damien marched forward trying to push Fraser out of the way, "He's my son. And I am damn well going to talk to him now." 

Fraser stood his ground, blocking the door to the bedroom. "No. Mr. Kowalski. Ray is my friend....," he started to say.

"And he's my son," Damien interrupted trying to get around the Mountie. "Now get out of my way." Damien shoved Fraser sideways.

"Dad. Stop it," James cried pulling his father back from the Mountie. "Just listen to yourself. This is not helping Ray."

His father turned on him, his face red with anger. "He's my son," he persisted glaring at Fraser.

"I know, but just now he's too tired to talk," James said patiently. "Ben's right. We'll go home, and come back tomorrow to see Ray when he's feeling a little better."

Damien looked from one man to the other and stomped towards the door. Turning, he glared at his elder son. "Well are you coming or not?" he demanded casting Fraser another dirty look as he opened the door. 

James calmly eyed his father. "I'll be along in a moment."

"I'll wait for you in the car," Damien said slamming the door behind him. 

James stared at the door. "I'm sorry about my father's terrible behaviour. There was no need for it," James apologised to the Mountie. "I guess a leopard can't change its spots overnight."

Fraser waved his hand in the air dismissively. "James. There is no need for you to apologise. Your father is just upset."

"Ray don't want to see the old man, does he?"James asked as he shrugged his coat onto his shoulders.

Fraser bit his lip, his head bowed. "Ray is in great pain at the moment. I am sure he will want to see you both tomorrow," he answered quietly not looking at James.

James smiled weakly. "Yeh. I thought so. You should be a diplomat Ben." Fraser looked up embarrassed. "Don't worry Ben. It's not your fault. My Dad just thinks he can waltz back into Ray's life, apologise and voila everything will be OK," he said a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"I am sure Ray will change his mind," Fraser reassured.

"If I was him, I wouldn't," James said bitterly. He went towards the bedroom door and peeked inside. Ray was fast asleep, his good arm slung over Diefenbacker. The wolf had snuggled close to his brother protectively. James smiled to himself. "You and Dief are good friends," he said to Fraser. "He trusts you both. I can see that."

"We trust each other. It is an honour to be your brother's partner and friend," Fraser explained. "Don't worry, Dief and I will look after him."

"I know you will Ben. I'll see you both tomorrow. OK?" James said. "I'll try and talk to Dad." Fraser let James out of the apartment, promising to call if there was any change in Ray's condition.

He turned the lights off in the apartment; laying on the couch he hoped he would be able to get his stubborn partner to change his mind about seeing his father, for everyone's sake. He closed his eyes, falling into a restless slumber.

***************

Fraser woke with a start at the sound of his name; Ray was calling him. Rubbing his eyes, he leapt off the couch hurrying towards the bedroom. 

"Ray. Are you alright?" he asked moving quickly to the bed.

"Wanna shower. Can't get the brace off on my own," his partner whispered. "And Dief's paws couldn't undo the thingys." He shot a small lopsided grin at Fraser, who smiled back warmly.

"Then I'll just have to add it to his training regime," Fraser teased. Dief woofed in displeasure burying his nose in the blankets. Fraser helped his partner remove the brace, and then his sweatshirt. Ray swung his legs to the floor. 

Swaying slightly, he made his way carefully to the bathroom. At the sound of the shower, Fraser disappeared into the kitchen to make some coffee and breakfast. 

He decided on oatmeal which would be easy for Ray to swallow. He was just serving up two bowls when Ray walked slowly into the living room. Fraser studied his friend; his neck displayed angry black bruises, which disappeared beneath the collar of the over-sized blue shirt he was wearing. His face was still pale, and he had removed the bandage from his cheek displaying an angry red cut circled by yellowblue bruising. He was holding his left arm across his chest for support. Diefenbacker was at his heels, helpfully dragging the brace with him. 

"Just in time for breakfast," Fraser announced placing a bowl on the counter. "Oatmeal." 

Ray screwed up his face in disgust as he carefully manoeuvred himself onto one of the high stools. "No thanks," Ray croaked. "Throat's still a bit sore."

"The oatmeal will slip down easily. Try some," Fraser said firmly pushing the bowl towards his partner.

Ray favoured him with a dirty look, but picked up a spoon and began to eat slowly. Fraser watched with concern, feeling guilty that he had forced his partner into eating; every swallow he took seemed to cause the slender detective great pain. Ray lifted his spoon again, but Fraser couldn't bear it any longer and brought his hand up pushing his partner's arm down gently.

"I'm sorry Ray. Don't eat any more if it hurts," he said quietly. "Here have some water instead."

Ray looked slightly relieved. "Not yer fault Frase," he rasped accepting the glass of water and sipping cautiously. "Yer only trying to help."

Fraser came into the living room, "And talking of helping, you need to get back into the brace." Ray scowled at him, but Fraser ignored the look. "Doctor's orders if I remember rightly," Fraser smirked at his partner's sulky look.

"Yer enjoying that I can't shout at ya," Ray croaked. 

"No. Well yes. I must admit your silence is most refreshing," Fraser teased. Ray glared at him threateningly. "Ya just wait," he managed to croak. Fraser grinned as he helped his partner into the brace. 

"Sit," Fraser ordered enjoying that his blonde friend couldn't retaliate in his normal vocal way. He disappeared into the kitchen to fetch some iced tea.

Ray favoured him with another dirty look as he slumped onto the couch. Dief immediately jumped up beside his favourite American snuggling close. "At least ya still love me," Ray whispered in the wolf's ear.

Fraser returned to the living room; offering Ray a glass of iced tea and some pain killers. Ray cautiously swallowed the pain killers. The partners sat in silence for while, sipping at their tea. Fraser had decided that he was going to try to talk to his partner about his father. Steeling himself. "Do you want to talk about your father?" he asked.

Ray seemed to consider for a moment. He idly stroked Dief's ears. "Nah," he finally mouthed leaning forward placing his glass on the table. 

"He wants to talk to you," Fraser persisted. 

"Well I don't wanna talk to him," Ray cried, his voice sounding unnaturally high. He collapsed back in pain, tears springing to his blue eyes, his good hand pressing on his throat trying to ease the agony.

Fraser leaned forward concerned at his partner's struggles. "Ray. I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

Ray massaged his throat. "Frase. Yer my friend. I know ya wouldn't hurt me. But this thing with my Dad is kinda hard. He's pushed me aside fer so long. I just..... just got sorta used to it."

"I am sure he wants to make amends for all the past hurt," Fraser urged.

Ray considered his partner for a moment, still rubbing at his neck. "Ya think?" 

"Yes I am sure he is genuinely sorry for what has happened in the past," Fraser insisted.

"Well I don't. When I was a kid, I wanted to be close to him. Wanted him to love me like he loved Jimmy. But he didn't, and now..... now I don't wanna his love," Ray admitted quietly.

"Oh Ray," Fraser exclaimed. "You can't mean that."

"I do," Ray mouthed hugging Dief closer to his body hiding his face in the wolf's furry head.

Fraser watched his partner silently. He could relate to Ray's bitterness over his father. His own father had ignored him as a child leaving him in the care of his elderly grandparents. As a child, Fraser had felt forgotten and unloved. On the outside he and Ray were so different; on the inside where it mattered, they were the same, both had been deeply hurt by people they loved. Fraser had eventually forgiven his father, but it seemed unlikely that his partner would forgive his father the misery of his childhood. He watched as Ray slumped backwards sleep claiming him, his pale face exhibiting lines of tiredness and pain. 

Fraser got to his feet quietly. Taking Ray's cell phone, he made a call to James Kowalski to explain the situation. Both men agreed that it was better if James kept their father away from Ray for a couple of days. When his partner felt better, Fraser would then try to persuade Ray to talk to his father. 

He hung up the phone just as Ray woke with a start. "Ray. I need to collect some things from the Consulate. Dief will stay with you. Will you be alright here until I get back? " Fraser asked. 

His blue eyes focusing on the Mountie, Ray nodded giving the thumbs up signal. "He aint coming here today is he Frase?" Ray asked softly his eyes pleading. "I don't want him ta." 

"No Ray. I have just spoken to James. They'll both come when you feel more like yourself," Fraser answered.

"Greatness," Ray whispered closing his eyes, the pain killers starting to take effect. 

"I won't be long," Fraser said putting on his stetson.

**************

Putting his feet up on the couch, Ray lay his head against the cushions. He smiled to himself; Dief had made himself comfortable curled up on his legs. Although, he ached all over and it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper against the inside of his throat everytime he tried to talk or swallow, Dief and Fraser made him feel safe.

Staring up at the ceiling, he unconsciously rubbed at his neck his thoughts turning to his relationship with his father. As a child, Ray had craved his love, had tried so hard to please him, to be what his father wanted, but he just couldn't come up to his father's standards. He had found school difficult, but he had tried hard to do well to please his father. James had helped him with his homework, but it still had not been enough. His father had accused him of being lazy calling him stupid always comparing his efforts to James. Ray remembered crying into his pillow with frustration wishing he could be more like his elder brother. His father had even resorted to hitting him on occasion; Ray hated to admit it, but he was still afraid of Damien Kowalski. Last night when the pain in his shoulder had woken him, his father had been sitting by the bed holding his hand. His old fears had re-surfaced, and in his pain induced confusion, he had wanted someone he could trust - Fraser. Pulling his hand out of his father's grip, he had called out for his friend. Ray knew he had angered his father again. He bit his bottom lip, trying to stifle the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. 

A loud knock at the door startled him out of his reverie. Dislodging Dief, who grumbled, he slowly and painfully eased himself off the couch moving towards the door. On opening the door Ray was surprised to find his father standing in the corridor, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Can I come in Raymond?" he asked.

Ray hesitated for a moment before opening the door wider to let his father into the apartment. Ray nervously looked at the floor playing with the edges of the sling with his good hand. He recognised the familiar look on his father's face; he was angry.

His father looked around the small apartment. "Where's the Mountie?" Damien asked sneering. Dief barked in protest, and Ray dropped his good hand down to pat the wolf's nose. 

"Gone to get some things from the Consulate," Ray answered quietly. "He'll be back soon."

"Need to talk to you without him being here," his father said businesslike. "Acts like a damn guard dog if you ask me." Dief growled at the older man in warning.

Ray jerked his head up staring into his father's eyes. "I told him to ask ya to leave. So don't going blaming Fraser," Ray protested hoarsely. "He's my partner and my best friend. He's only trying to help."

"Whatever," his father waved his hand dismissively. "I think that it's important that we clear the air once and for all. Don't you think?" he stared at his younger son. Dief barked softly as Damien moved towards Ray. Damien stopped in his tracks as the wolf barked again. "Look the wolf is making me nervous. Can you put him in the bedroom?"

Ray stared back at his father, his blue eyes boring into the older man. He nodded slightly biting his bottom lip nervously. "OK," he mouthed. Ray led Dief into the bedroom, promising him a treat of cookies later. Dief licked his hand lovingly.

Damien had started to pace up and down the living room ignoring his younger son's nervousness and silence. "Right. First things first. You are my son, and of course I love you. I always have. I explained this all to James last night. He can tell you what I said if you don't believe me," Damien said his voice cold.

"Nah Dad. I don't believe ya," Ray whispered noting the coldness in his father's voice. "I never will again."

Damien swung around. "What did you just say? Speak up boy," he snapped disregarding that his son might be in pain. 

"I'll never believe ya ever again," Ray repeated slowly.

Damien looked at his son in surprise. "Now look here...," he started to say. 

At the sound of the raised voices, Dief had begun to whine scratching at the bedroom door. Wondering if the wolf could escape, Damien cast a nervous look in the door's direction. 

Ray waved his good hand in the air. "No ya look. I don't want yer love any more," Ray cried, wincing at the effort. "It was all I ever wanted when I was a kid, but I don't want it now. I don't need it now."

"Raymond....," Damien stuttered in surprise. In all their arguments, his younger son had never retaliated in this manner. "I know we have had our problems in the past, but we can put them behind us. Start anew," he advanced on his son his arms outstretched. 

"No," Ray whispered taking a nervous step backwards to avoid his father, his blue eyes full of fear.

Damien stared at his son; he thought he saw terror in Ray's eyes, but dismissed the thought from his mind. "Now you are just being spiteful and stupid," Damien accused clenching his fists in controlled fury. "James would never...," he began to say.

"Stop it. Stop it. I don't care what James would or wouldn't do," Ray screamed ignoring the pain in his throat. "I tried so hard to please ya. But ya threw it back in my face. Ya thought I was stupid. Ya turned Jimmy against me. Ya made me believe he thought I was retarded. I'll never forgive ya fer that." Ray leant against the back of the couch; the pain in his throat was so severe he thought he was going to pass out, and he was beginning to have trouble breathing. "Go away. Leave me alone," he panted fighting to breathe, rubbing at his throat.

Damien didn't notice his son's obvious distress feeling a surge of familiar anger grip him. "Don't you talk to me in that tone young man," he shouted.

Gathering all of his reserves, Ray stood up defiantly. "Why? Ya gonna hit me, like ya did before," Ray cried tears springing to his blue eyes, years of misery spilling out. "Go on. Yer good at that. Hit me."

White hot fury surged through Damien Kowalski's veins. He finally lost control of his temper and shoved the blonde backwards. At the same time he raised his hand viciously hitting Ray hard across the face. Ray cried out as the force of the blow propelled him over the back of the couch. He rolled off the couch landing on the floor, his head hitting the edge of the coffee table. Ray could hear Dief barking loudly in the background accompanied by the sound of the wolf throwing himself at the bedroom door. Ray struggled to focus his eyes; he couldn't breathe, and the darkness threatened to claim him.

**************

On his return to the Consulate, Fraser had hurriedly packed a few things into a holdall. Leaving a note for Inspector Thatcher, he had taken the short route back to Ray's apartment building. Fraser had stopped on the way to pick up enough supplies to keep the three of them fed for the week. Turning the corner, Fraser saw a cab drawing up outside the building. Recognising the figure of James Kowalski paying the driver, he broke into a run, a feeling of dread engulfing him. "James," he called as he ran along the street.

James Kowalski turned at the sound of his name. He waited for Fraser to come to a stop at the bottom of the steps. "Ben. Where's Ray? Is he alone in the apartment?" he demanded quickly.

"Don't worry James. He's fine," Fraser said placing a hand on the older man's shoulder. "He was asleep when I left him. Dief's looking after him."

Fraser noted a look of panic cross James' face. "Dad gave me the slip. I think he came here," he said anxiously. "And he was pretty mad."

"Oh dear," Fraser said as he lead Ray's brother up the steps and into the building. Fraser took the stairs two at a time, James puffing hard behind him. Fraser ran along the corridor; he could hear Dief barking loudly. Using his key, Fraser swung the door open. Quickly glancing around the apartment, he noticed Ray's father standing by the kitchen counter, a look of panic etched on his face. 

Fraser could hear Diefenbacker throwing his weight against the bedroom door. Ignoring his wolf's obvious distress, Fraser dropped his bags in the hallway as he saw his partner lying on his back on the living room floor. Pushing the coffee table aside, he knelt by his partner. Ray's face was pale, his eyes open and unfocused; his breathing laboured and ragged.

"Ray," he carefully shook the slender frame. "Ray. Can you hear me?"

The blue eyes seemed to focus on his face. "Can't..... can't breathe," Ray gasped panting hard between words. Fraser saw the panic and fear reflected in his eyes as he struggled to draw each breath. "Hurts. Can't..... Frase." Tears started to slip down his thin face. "Help.... me.... Can't.....," Ray clutched at Fraser's arm.

"Ssshhh. Calm down Ray. It's alright," Fraser said as calmly as he could. He carefully turned his partner onto to his uninjured side. "Try and take small breaths. It won't hurt as much," he soothed. Looking up, he saw that James already had the telephone in his hand dialling 911. He turned back to his partner gripping his hand comforting. Fraser didn't miss seeing the yellowish bruise that had started to appear around his partner's eye and on his uninjured cheek. He glanced up again in time to see James dragging his father out of the apartment.

**************

Fraser rode in the ambulance with Ray, holding on to his hand speaking softly in an effort to calm his frightened partner. He now sat in the waiting room anxiously awaiting news on his friend. As soon as the paramedics had arrived, Fraser had momentarily left his partner's side to release a distraught Dief out of the bedroom. He had left him with Ray's landlady, who was no doubt spoiling him with jelly doughnuts. His thoughts turned to James and Damien Kowalski remembering that he hadn't seen either man since James had dragged his father out of the apartment.

He briefly wondered if he should call the Kowalski trailer, but instantly dismissed the thought. He was startled out of his reverie at the sound of his name being called. "Constable Fraser."

He looked up to see the doctor who had treated Ray the day before walking towards him, "Constable Fraser."

He leapt up. "How's Ray? Is he alright?" he asked anxiously.

The doctor smiled warmly. "He's fine. But I want him to stay here as our guest for a couple of days." Fraser was about to protest, but the doctor stopped him with a wave of his hand. "I know your partner hates hospitals, but I did warn him to take it easy," the doctor scolded.

Fraser studied his boots guiltily. "How is he?" he mumbled.

"Well the good news is that the brace saved him from any further damage to his arm and shoulder. I've now replaced his soft cast with a hard one." The doctor noticed that Fraser breathed a sigh of relief. "However, on the down side, his throat is extremely swollen again, which is why he was having trouble breathing. I have put him on some anti-inflammatory drugs to relieve the swelling, and oxygen to help with his breathing. And he has a mild concussion," the doctor continued.

"Can I see him?" Fraser asked.

"Of course. Follow me. I'll take you to his room," the doctor led Fraser through some double doors. "It might be a good idea if you could stay. It might help keep him calm," the doctor said.

"Of course I'll stay," Fraser replied.

The doctor stopped turning to Fraser. "But I want you to ensure that he doesn't talk or remove the oxygen mask until I say he can," he instructed.

"Understood. It will be my pleasure to keep Ray quiet," Fraser smirked.

The doctor laughed lightly as he opened the door to his partner's room. "We've given him some pretty strong medication so he'll be asleep for a while."

"Thank you kindly doctor," Fraser said as he entered the room. Turning back to the doctor before he left. "May I ask you a question?"

"Sure shoot," the doctor smiled.

"The new..... new bruising on his face," Fraser hesitated stuttering. "How do you think it happened?"

The doctor narrowed his eyes at the Mountie. Mind made up. "In my opinion, the bruising wasn't caused by a fall. I would say he was hit, and pretty hard at that, across the face," the doctor replied simply before he walked down the corridor.

Fraser moved over the bed pulling a chair with him. Sitting, he studied his partner carefully; Ray eyes were closed, his thin face pale. An oxygen mask covered his nose and mouth. An IV was attached to his good arm, and a machine measured his breathing and heart rate - a precaution the doctor had said. Fraser noted that his partner now had an angry looking blueyellow bruise on his cheek and a black eye.

Grasping his partner's hand, Fraser sat back to keep watch on his sleeping friend. He strongly suspected that Ray and his father had argued, probably shouting at each other. Somehow his partner, in his weakened state, had been hit and ended up on the floor struggling to breathe. Fraser thought of his own father; he had been guilty of neglecting him as a child, but he had never once raised his hand in anger. It hurt Fraser to think that this episode would only serve to add to his partner's misery and estrangement from his father.

**************

James Kowalski had called the paramedics. Knowing that Fraser would take care of his younger brother, James had then turned on his father dragging him out of the apartment and down the stairs. He dragged him into the alleyway turning on him. "Just what the hell happened up there?" James shouted at his father.

Damien blinked at his son. "I found him like that on the floor," he attempted to lie.

James snorted. "I don't believe you. You're lying to me. Tell me the truth, or God help me I will kick your ass up this alleyway and back until you tell me the truth."

"I am telling you the truth Jimmy," his father protested.

"No. You're lying to me. Tell me. How did you get into the apartment? What was Dief doing locked in the bedroom? Well answer me goddam you," James bellowed angrily advancing on the older man threateningly.

Damien stepped back in surprise. He dropped his head to stare at his feet. "It was an accident," he whispered. "I didn't mean to...."

"What I can't hear you?" James interrupted his voice a shout. 

Damien's head snapped up. "The stupid son of a bitch bad mouthed me. I got angry and I hit him. Happy now," he yelled clenching his fists glaring at his elder son.

James had suspected as much, but his mouth still dropped open at his father's candid admission. "Oh my God," he started to say.

"I didn't mean to hurt him. He just wouldn't listen to me," Damien interrupted. 

"So you hit him," James glared at his father. "You hit him because he wouldn't listen to you." 

Damien dropped his head to study his feet again. "You know how stubborn your brother can be," he muttered defensively.

James regarded his father shaking his head. "That is no excuse to hit him. I can't believe how stupid you are. You have just blown your last chance to be a father to Ray. I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see you again," James said quietly. 

Damien looked up. "I'll talk to him. Apologise," he protested. "Make things right."

James put his hand up in the air. "Whoa there. You are not to go near Ray. Do you understand?" His father remained silent. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Damien whispered.

"Good. Now we are going back to the trailer where you are going to stay. You can also explain to Mum what has happened," James started to walk up the alleyway to hail a cab. "And I'm moving Beth and the children to a hotel. I can't.... can't trust you with them."

"I would never hurt.....," Damien started to protest.

"Like you vowed you would never hit Ray again," James snapped whirling on his father, his face red with anger.

His father stepped back startled. "I'm sorry," Damien muttered, a hint of guilt in his voice.

"So you should be. Ray is hurting because of you," James stabbed a finger at his father's chest. "I'll tell you this now. You are not going to mess up my relationship with my brother this time. I won't let you."

**************

Fraser sat behind his desk at the Consulate, Dief laying at his feet. He had stayed at the hospital for two days with his partner. Ray's brother had visited on several occasions with his family, but to Fraser's relief, Ray's father and mother had kept away. Ray refused to discuss the incident with either James or Fraser insisting that he had felt dizzy and fallen over. The doctors had been pleased with Ray's improved condition and he was being discharged into Fraser's care that afternoon with strict instructions to take it easy and rest.

Fraser had secured a week's leave to look after his partner, and was now tidying up his paperwork before he left for the hospital. He looked up as Turnbull popped his head around the door.

"Constable Fraser. There's a visitor for you. A Mr. Kowalski," the young Mountie said. "Shall I show him in?" 

Fraser considered for a moment. "Yes Turnbull. Show him in," he said as Turnbull disappeared towards the reception area. Turnbull returned minutes later, Damien Kowalski following slowly behind him. Dief growled from beneath the desk and Fraser felt the wolf starting to get to his feet. Fraser dug his boot lightly into the wolf's side. "Dief," he warned. Dief reluctantly lay back down grumbling.

He looked up smiling at the younger Mountie. "Thank you Turnbull." He turned his gaze to Ray's father. "What can I do for you Mr. Kowalski?," he asked politely ignoring the offered hand that Damien stuck out towards him.

Damien lowered his hand. "Guess I deserved that," he mumbled bitterly.

"Yes. Yes I imagine you did," Fraser said coldly. 

Damien shrugged. "Look. I know you don't like me so I'll get straight to the point. I want you to persuade Ray to see me. I know Ray listens to you," Damien said. "Please," he offered as an afterthought.

Fraser regarded Damien for a moment, his head to one side. "Ray maintains that he felt dizzy and fell over. But I think you and I know different," Fraser stared at the older man, who dropped his head to study at the floor. "So why exactly would I want to persuade Ray to see you?" Fraser asked coolly.

Damien's head jerked upwards and Fraser saw a hint of anger flash through the green eyes. "Because I'm his father, and I need to speak to him," Damien snapped.

"And what does James think about your request to see Ray?" Fraser questioned.

Damien dropped his head again, shoving his hands in his coat pockets. "James has forbidden me from visiting Ray."

"I see," Fraser mused staring at the older man.

"God dammit, I'm his father, and I need to speak to him. Make him understand a few things," Damien yelled. "Well. Will you help me or not?"

Fraser cleared his throat. "No. I will not help you. It seems to me that you have hurt Ray all his life. He is a good, caring and kind man, and you have chosen for whatever reason to push him aside. I understand you have even accused him of being stupid and lazy. Ray is neither stupid or lazy. He is my best friend, and I will not help you hurt him again."

"Now just wait a minute," Damien spluttered. "I haven't finished...."

"No. This conversation is over," Fraser said firmly. "If you will follow me, I will escort you to the door," he took the older man by the elbow and steered him towards the hallway. 

***************

Fraser helped his partner along the corridor to his apartment. Dief bounded ahead of the partners excitedly. Fraser made Ray comfortable on the couch disappearing into the kitchen to fetch cold drinks for them both. Dief curled up close to the blonde detective keeping a watchful eye on his favourite American.

Fraser had to admit that his partner looked much better. His arm was still in a cast, but the doctor had said he didn't need the brace anymore. His bruises were slowly fading, and he had recovered some colour to his face. The swelling in his throat had disappeared but he had been warned to keep talking to minimum for a while.

Ray smiled up at Fraser as the Mountie offered him a col d drink. "Thanks Frase," he said.

"Can I get you anything else Ray?" Fraser asked. "I'll cook us a light supper later."

"Nah. Supper later will be cool. Thanks," Ray whispered. "Frase." Ray hesitated biting at his bottom lip.

"Yes Ray," Fraser smiled at his partner's hesitation.

"Ya know, don't ya? Jimmy told me he had told ya about me..... About school and stuff," he croaked.

Fraser studied his hands. "Yes, he did. But he only wanted to explain to me the situation with your father. He didn't do it to hurt you," Fraser blurted out.

Ray held up his hand. "I know he didn't Frase. Ya won't tell anyone will ya? It's kinda hard sometimes, but I manage OK," Ray asked his eyes anxious.

"Ray. I could never do anything to hurt you. Your secret is safe," Fraser assured.

"Now ya know why I hate paperwork," Ray grinned at the Mountie.

A knocking on the door interrupted Fraser's reply. As he got up to answer the door, Fraser couldn't help noticing that Ray's posture had become tense, and he was shooting nervous glances towards the door. 

"Don't worry. It's only James. He called me this morning to say he would call by this afternoon before going home," Fraser reassured his partner as he opened the door letting James Kowalski into the apartment.

"Hello little brother. You look better," he smiled fondly at Ray as he slumped into the empty armchair.

Ray looked across to this brother. "Thanks. I'm good. Frase and Dief are looking after me," Ray whispered.

"Not up to shouting yet then," James teased.

Fraser returned from the kitchen with a drink for James. "Oh give him time. He will soon be shouting at me for endangering his life in wildly bizarre ways," Fraser joked. Ray shot both men a dirty look, but remained silent.

James sipped his drink. He had spoken to Fraser on the telephone that morning, and both men had agreed that James would try to get his younger brother to admit the truth to them. He knew that the time had come for his brother to face up to his relationship with his father. Taking a deep breath. "You know, you gave us quite a scare the other day," James uttered his face becoming serious.

Ray dropped his head, idly scratching at Dief's head. "Sorry," he rasped. "Ya know me. Ya screw up of a brother. It was stupid of me ta fall over," he hugged the wolf closer his eyes not meeting Fraser's or his brothers.

James shot a look at Fraser, who nodded slightly, before getting up and sitting on the coffee table opposite his younger brother. "Ray. Ray. Look at me," he ordered tapping Ray's knee. Ray reluctantly raised his face to look at his brother. "Now you listen to me. And you listen to me good," James started. "First, you are not stupid. Second, you are not a screw up. And third, both Ben and I know you didn't fall."

"But...," Ray started to protest.

James waved his hand in the air. "You don't have to make excuses or protect Dad anymore," he sighed.

"I'm not protecting him," Ray protested quietly. 

"Ray. Stop it. You know you are. You always have. Even when you were a little kid, you made excuses for him. He doesn't deserve it," James said firmly grasping his brother's good hand. "I want you to tell me the truth. You argued with him, and he hit you. Didn't he?" Ray dropped his head, tears stinging at his blue eyes. "Ray," James encouraged gently.

Silence echoed around the small apartment. Fraser was holding his breathe quietly watching the two brothers. James sat patiently waiting, squeezing Ray's hand in comfort. "Yeh," Ray whispered eventually. "But it was an accident. He didn't mean ta. It was as much my fault as his." Ray brought his head up to look into his brother's matching blue eyes. 

James sighed with relief; he was glad that Ray had finally told him the truth. He wiped at his younger brother's tears gently. "It doesn't matter whose fault it was. And it doesn't matter if it was an accident or not, Dad shouldn't have hit you."

"But...." Ray began again.

"No buts. I have watched you suffer in silence for years now. I have stood by and let Dad hurt you over and over again. And I should have done something about it. I used to hear you crying at nights, but I was too scared of Dad to come and comfort you. I should have," James admitted quietly. 

"It's not yer fault," Ray insisted.

"And it's not your fault either little brother," James squeezed his hand again. "You couldn't help not being good at school. I knew you were trying your best. Dad should have understood, but he chose to ignore the problem. Don't blame yourself for Dad's stupidity and ignorance." 

Ray looked at his brother in surprise; he had never heard James talk about their father in such a derogatory fashion. "But ya and Dad aren't speaking. And it's my fault," Ray mumbled.

"Ray. Listen to me. Dad and I will get around to talking again. I don't want him to miss out on knowing Matt or Abby," James explained. "It's just going to take me a bit of time, and distance between us, for me to forgive him for what he has done to you now and in the past." 

Ray hung his head a guilty expression on his pale face. "I'm sorry," he croaked, his voice starting to crack.

James had noted the expression and forced Ray to look at him again, caressing his injured cheek gently. "Ray. We've just found each other again, and I'm not letting anyone come between us ever again. I am proud you are my brother and I love you."

"I love ya too, but..," Ray hesitated biting at his bottom lip.

"Ray. Please it's not your fault so don't go blaming yourself. OK?" James said firmly.

Ray studied his brother's face looking for the recrimination he expected, but finding only love and affection reflected in the blue eyes. It took his breath away for a moment. "OK," he finally muttered. "I'll try."

James grinned. "Hey Ben. Do you hear that? My little brother agrees with me for a change. Gotta be a first," he teased. 

"Yes. He rarely agrees with anyone," Fraser joined in the teasing. 

Ray managed a small smile, which disappeared as he looked at James uncertainty showing in his eyes again. "I can't..... can't talk to Dad yet," he admitted softly.

"I understand. And I don't blame you. Let the old man sweat for a while," James said bitterly. 

"I will talk ta him, but not yet," Ray promised. "For Mum's sake."

"I know you will. But you do it when you feel it is right. Don't let the old man bully you into anything. You owe him nothing. OK?" James declared.

"OK," Ray agreed smiling weakly.

"Hey Ben. He just agreed with me for a second time," James laughed. Fraser chuckled as Ray threw both men his best dirty look. 

James glanced down at his watch. "I gotta go. We're flying back home tonight. Now are you sure you are going to be OK?" he asked concern in his voice , getting up to leave.

"Yeh. I'm good. Frase is better than Mum," Ray croaked getting to his feet.

James stepped forward pulling the slender detective into a hug. "Now remember. You promised that you would come to visit next time you have a vacation. Right?" he squeezed his brother gently. 

"Yeh. I promise," Ray hugged his brother back.

James released his brother and stepped over to Fraser offering his hand. "And that goes for you and Dief. You both come with Ray. We'd love to have you," James shook the Mountie's hand warmly.

Fraser could see his partner nodding furiously at him behind his brother's back. "Dief and I have never been to Texas before. So we would be honoured. Thank you kindly," Fraser replied beaming.

James turned back to his brother. "Now you make sure you take care of yourself little brother. And if you need me, you call me. And don't worry about anything. OK?"

"OK," Ray nodded.

"Hey third time lucky," James smirked at his brother. Ray grinned back.

"You stay here Ray. I'll see James downstairs," Fraser offered noting that his friend looked tired.

Ray waved as Fraser led James down the corridor. Leaving the door ajar for Fraser, Ray slumped wearily on the couch. Dief joined him, resting his furry head on Ray's lap. He lay his head back thinking about his father and his brother. He didn't hate his father, but he knew in his heart it would be a long time before he could talk to him again. He had made Ray feel like the frightened and confused child again who desperately tried to please a father who would never fully understand him. 

He had been so afraid to admit that his father had hit him in case James stopped loving him. The pain and misery of his childhood flooded back to him causing him to gasp. He wiped in vain at the tears that were running down his face. Dief whined softly and leaned in closer comforting. Ray wrapped his arms around the wolf burying his head in his soft fur crying softly, finally letting go of the years of misery that were his childhood. He cried for his father and he cried for himself knowing in his heart that they would never understand each other.

He didn't hear Fraser return to the apartment until the Mountie put a hand on his shoulder. "Ray. Are you alright?" Fraser said concerned.

Ray turned his tear stained face towards the Mountie. "Yeh. Fine. But yer wolf is soggy," he shot the Mountie a lopsided weak grin, wiping at his eyes.

"I'm sure if you bribe him with a jelly doughnut, he'll get over it," Fraser said. Dief pricked his ears up hopefully.

"Sorry Frase," Ray sniffed looking away embarrassed.

"Don't be. Can I help?" Fraser asked.

"Yer already are," Ray replied. "Just by ya and Dief being here."

Fraser hesitated before asking the question. "Will you go and see your father?"

"Yes. But not for a while. I can't...... I don't....," he stuttered.

"I understand," Fraser said simply. "When you decide the time is right, Dief and I will come with you if you like? To offer what support we can."

Ray smiled at the Mountie knowing that he had a good friend in Fraser. "Yeh. Thanks Frase. I'd appreciate that," he said. 

"At least you and James have found each other again," Fraser offered.

Ray thought for a while. "Yeh. I got James and his family, something I didn't think I had last week. And I got ya and Dief. I got all the family I need. What else could I want?" Ray asked.

"A pizza with pineapple topping," Fraser teased happy that Ray considered him and Dief part of his family.

"Frase," Ray threatened.

"Understood."

THE END


End file.
